This week, I want to write about the reality of having high expectations in your life. This has been something affecting me for years now, and maybe you can relate.
Before diving in, I want to clarify that I think having lofty goals and ambitions is a great thing. They give you direction and a sense of purpose.
However, if left unchecked, they can be devastating to morale and can lead to a downward spiral.
Here is an example on a small scale:
I recently took an exam for one of my classes. Let’s say I studied very hard (which for sure happened) and expected to get a 95% or higher. On the other hand, a classmate of mine didn’t study and hasn’t been going to class, so his goal is to pass with a 60% or higher. After the exam, we get our scores back: we both earned an 80%.
Now to my classmate, this is great. His actual score was higher than his expected score, which leads to positive emotions and feeling of accomplishment. His confidence becomes higher and maybe he starts to study more for future exams.
On the other hand, since my expectation was far higher than my earned score, I’m bound to question myself more. Did I study hard enough? Why did I score so low? Am I not as good at this subject as I thought?
These are two radically different responses to the same test score.
Now this illustration may seem dumb and obvious at first, but we can expand it on a larger scale to see its effects more clearly.
Sometimes, I have the feeling that I should be so much further ahead in life than I am. In other words, my expectations of who I’m supposed to be are higher than who I currently am.
I have experienced firsthand how dangerous this can be. Instead of, did I study hard enough, you start asking, am I good enough? Why am I not the person I want to be? The questions become much deeper and more personal.
And if you focus on this gap between where you are at this time and where you expected yourself to be, this negative mindset can easily become the norm.
All that being said, here is my takeaway:
Set realistic expectations.
Again, this doesn’t mean you should never challenge yourself, set lofty goals, or go out of your comfort zone. However, it does mean being realistic in where you are in your life. This idea has helped shift my mindset to the healthier side, and it’s something I want to continue to work on moving forward. Maybe it can help you too.
Keep making progress. Change for the better. Live the Heming-way.
God bless,
Trevor
p.s. Colossians 3:23