This week, I want to write about something I’m not very good at. It’s a bit difficult to do, because I may look dumb in front of all of my readers, but this is why I created The Hemingway Post in the first place: to be completely transparent about what’s going on in my life.
NOTE: Today’s post is inspired by a sermon given at my home church a few weeks back.
What is love?
Is it the same as really liking someone? Is it caring for someone’s well-being? Or is it just a song lyric?
For so many years, I’ve had the wrong definition of love, which has led me to view things in an incorrect way. Allow me to explain:
In the past, I thought love was just an emotion. Like anger, sadness, fear, or happiness, it came and went depending on my current circumstances.
I also thought, even if it was subconsciously, that people would ‘love’ me more if they liked me more. This is far from the truth.
This avenue led me to become a people pleaser. The level of how much someone loved me depended on the value I added to their lives.
This created two problems:
I needed the validation from others to be loved, and
My identity was in an emotion that constantly changed.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that this isn’t what love is. Far from it.
So, again I ask:
What is love?
Love is advocating for the eternal good of another.
I’m going to write it again because it’s so important:
Love is advocating for the eternal good of another.
Love isn’t getting as many people as possible to like you. It isn’t something that depends on constantly changing human emotions.
As a believer, I can love because I am already loved by Jesus. And the beautiful thing is, no one can take this away from me. It’s set in stone.
Even if everyone on this earth hated me, I would still be loved, because the King of the universe loves me. How beautiful is that!
And when I learned how loved I am by God, I could now love others by advocating for their eternal good. But what does that mean?
It means sometimes having the difficult conversation someone needs to hear. It means calling someone out on their sin even if it’s embarrassing or hard to do. It means pointing others towards the perfect example of Jesus, even when it’s against popular belief.
Though I now understand what love actually is, I still find myself people-pleasing at times. Sacrificing Truth for comfortability because it’s the easier thing to do.
This is why it’s difficult for me to write this; It’s very convicting.
But I felt led by the Spirit to do so as I continue to focus on loving others, not just getting others to like me. If you’re in a similar position, I pray that you would have the boldness to truly love others.
Remember, I can only love others because Jesus loved me first.
Keep making progress. Change for the better. Live the Heming-way.
God bless,
Trevor
p.s. Ephesians 1:7