Something I’ve dealt with basically my whole life is social anxiety, especially when meeting and being around new people. But this concept has helped ease it a bit:
The Spotlight Effect — The tendency to think that more people notice something about us than they actually do.
Like I wrote about a few weeks back, most people don’t really care about you. And you can take that as a negative thing, or embrace is as a positive one.
For example, I can think back to many times I feel socially awkward or uncomfortable when meeting someone new. In many of these situations, I don’t see those people ever again. And in the case that I do, they almost never remember any of the ‘awkwardness’ I was so bothered by.
The Spotlight Effect is a good reminder that our mental perceptions of situations are often not grounded in reality. We tend to make things up and guess what other people are thinking instead of being present and enjoying ourselves.
Even with this understanding, it’s a hard habit to break for me. My natural inclination is to think of all the people who are taking notice of my every action in social situations. I have to remind myself that chances are, they really don’t care.
And if I remind myself of that every time the situation arises, even if someone does care, it won’t affect how I act. It’s a win-win.
But at the end of the day, what matters most is what God thinks of me, not other people. Although this has been a helpful tool for me, I recognize that it isn’t the end-all-be-all.
My aim throughout my life is to please God by giving Him all the glory and properly stewarding his many blessings. This is what truly matters.
This means I can’t let what other people think of me, or even what I think other people are thinking of me, affect this mission. Because at the end of the day, it’s just not that important.
I hope this message struck a chord with you. It’s been something I’ve considered and though about before but never have really put the idea into words.
As a reminder, The Hemingway Post is moving towards Christian content, where I’ll be talking about topics in that realm. If that isn’t your thing, no worries. You can unsubscribe at any time, and I wish you the best of luck.
If you deal with social anxiety, I challenge you this week to remember the spotlight effect and not worry so much about how others are viewing you.
Keep making progress. Change for the better. Live the Heming-way.
God bless,
Trevor
p.s. Hebrews 11:6